1.18.2011

Day 10-Something you're afraid of

Woo-hoo! 30 % done with the 30-day challenge!

I'm not afraid to say what I fear most: death.

I've always had issues with death, even when I was a kid. I'm a Christian, so ultimately I believe I'll go to Heaven when I die. But what I've always wondered is how the transition to the afterlife will feel. What does it feel like to take your last breath and for your heart to stop? Yes, it's very morbid thinking, but I honestly can't help it.

Now that I'm a mother, there is a new twist to this fear of mine. I hate the idea of leaving E to grow up without her mom. And of course I want to be around to watch her grow up.

I'm hoping that in time, this fear will diminish, but considering how long I've been dealing with it, I highly doubt it. Fortunately, it's not all-consuming and doesn't prevent me from living my life. But every few days, it reappears, usually as I'm trying to fall asleep. Maybe it will pass me by tonight...

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